8:15am 

I can feel one of them days coming on. I wake up every single morning thinking about. I think of things you said and make comebacks for it. Like when you said: stop telling people I dumped you, cause you did. I broke up with you, you gave up on us. You wouldn’t give us another try. YOU GAVE UP. I have a painful grudge in my heart against you. And everytime I think about it I get so angry I just cry. I never thought heartbreak could be so hard for me, and seems like a walk in the park for you.

You keep saying it hurts for you to. I honestly don’t think it does. And the most difficult thing is that I can’t talk to anyone about this because they all say one thing: he’s an arsehole, Clarive you deserve someone so much better. They don’t know, they don’t know how we were. You were my first love. And you broke my heart into a 1000 piece puzzle.

My heart has turned so cold. I don’t want to love. I’m getting into a bad habit where I get boys to like me, then when it gets to the point that they really do… I leave them. Break them down. Like you did to me. I’m hurting, and why should I be the only fucking one?